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Love at work: this is how you approach it responsibly

April 26, 2023

However reasonable we sometimes approach it, feelings – and especially love – are never completely under our control. And that is exactly why you should pay extra attention if you feel something for a colleague. In many cases, a relationship with your colleague is allowed. But you have to handle it wisely. We list the main points of attention.

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What are the rules?

From a legal point of view, nothing stands in the way of a relationship in the workplace, so your employer cannot prohibit you from doing so. However, he is allowed to draw up a policy on how to deal with such a situation and record this in the company regulations, staff handbook or the code of conduct. For example, this may state that you must report a relationship or how to avoid uncomfortable situations in the workplace. Your employer should clearly point out this policy to you so that you know what the rules are. If necessary, do your own research into possible policy on relationships with colleagues.

Relationship with an equal colleague

If you get into a relationship with a colleague at the same level as you, it is important to deal with this professionally: your work must not suffer. As long as this is not the case, your employer is not allowed to do anything about it. But if your work suffers, your employer can intervene. For example, by placing one of you in a different department. He must always have a good reason for this.

Relationship between supervisor and subordinate

A relationship between colleagues at a different level is a lot more sensitive: as a manager you not only have an exemplary function, but there is also a skewed power relationship. In addition, other colleagues may start to feel unsafe. So be very careful with such a relationship.

The important thing is to be open about the relationship and report it as soon as possible. Failure to do so can have adverse consequences – in the worst case, even dismissal. Another option is to transfer one of the two people in the relationship to another team or department so that you don't have to deal with each other on a business level.

Unsafe or unpleasant situations

Romantic feelings in the workplace can lead to unpleasant, unsafe or unhealthy situations. From annoying gossip doing the rounds to colleagues who are afraid that someone will receive preferential treatment. If this is the case, an employer must intervene. This is especially true in the dangerous situation where a manager has feelings for a subordinate, but those feelings are not mutual. Employers may and must set clear limits to risky situations or undesirable behaviour.

Do you feel unsafe at work, for whatever reason? Then you can always go to a confidential adviser. There you can tell your story. In addition, investigate whether there is a policy to report unpleasant behaviour. Save messages, e-mails or other attachments that you receive, so that you can use them as evidence for your employer or confidential adviser.

More information

Do you have questions about relationships in the workplace? Or are you in a difficult or unpleasant situation yourself, and you don't know what to do? Please do not hesitate to contact our Service Center. We are available every working day from 8.30 am to 17.00 pm via sc@unie.nl en 0345 851 963.

 

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