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Help, I don't get along with my boss

Few situations are more annoying than not getting along with your supervisor or manager. It has a major influence on your working atmosphere, but also on how you go to work and return home. You may be worrying about it at home and stressing you out. Is it you or your boss? Or is there simply no click between you? And what is the best thing to do: let it simmer for a while or work on a solution? In many cases, communication is the key. In short, talk about it! That's the best way to handle it.

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Talk to others about it…

It often helps to talk about the situation. You can do this with your boss, but you can also discuss it with others first. Friends and family for example. There may also be someone available within your organization, such as a confidential adviser: you can often find this on the intranet or in a staff directory. With such a person you can tell your story in confidence and discuss the best step to take. For example, do you have to talk directly with your boss, or is it better to go to HR or your boss's supervisor first?

In addition, you can sometimes engage a coach to discuss the issue. Some companies have coaches available or budget to hire one. This can help you deal with the situation. For example, by looking at it differently: maybe there are small things you can do to take the sting out of the situation or to have less to do with your boss.

…but beware of colleagues

Your colleagues are better off not talking about it – no matter how understandable it is to talk about it at the coffee machine. 'Stirring' among colleagues can work against you. In addition, you can put colleagues in an awkward position, causing them to end up in a loyalty issue. Do you notice that colleagues run into the same thing? Then you can consider talking to them about it.

Prepare the conversation well

Talking to your boss can help resolve the situation, but can also be quite exciting. Therefore, prepare this well. Calmly list what you run into because of your boss's behavior. In addition, think about what you want to achieve with the conversation: improve the relationship or prevent a conflict? And is it a difference of opinion about a certain method or something else that has to do with your work? Then prepare your arguments. What makes your approach or proposal better?

stay business

Do you dare to talk to your boss? The air is often cleared when you can calmly explain your views. Always remain business-like, do not react out of emotion and do not make any accusations: this can lead to an annoying discussion and aggravate the situation, while you want to build a solution constructively. Even if it is actually a matter of feeling, it is better not to make assumptions and substantiate your findings as much as possible with examples and facts.

If the call doesn't work

Are you unable to reach an agreement with your boss? Then you can consider involving HR. They usually have experience with this and can, for example, propose a mediation process. Often this is done by an independent, external party that mediates between you and your boss.

Suffering from tension?

If you notice that the conflict is affecting your health, it is wise to request a meeting with the company doctor. This is also possible if you are not ill, but for example preventively, to prevent loss due to illness. The company doctor can then also propose mediation, for example. 

If nothing works

Does the conversation not help, even with the help of a coach, HR colleague or mediator? Then of course you can focus your energy on the search for a new job in the most extreme case. But make sure that you don't quit your current job out of emotion: you could lose your right to unemployment benefits as a result.

Help from De Unie

Have the mood risen to such an extent that an unpleasant or unworkable situation arises and are you heading for a labor dispute? Or do you want tips on how to start the conversation? We can help you with this, even if you are not a member. Feel free to contact us. Our Service Center is available every working day from 8.00 am to 18.00 pm via sc@unie.nl and 0345 851 963.